2 days ago
Answer: i am so sorry you feel this way. i can tell you i have been here before. hurting from mental illness, abuse, trauma, whatever the difficult circumstance certainly makes existing super f*****g hard. i don’t believe it is selfish to say you don’t want to live anymore. i’m sorry, i don’t, because if that’s your reality then that’s your reality. what you are feeling is valid even if people will tell you it’s morbid. i’ve been there before. i have really believed to my core that it wouldn’t matter whether or not i was here anymore, and sadly that’s a result of how other people chose to treat me in my past. because i internalized that my existence and my life were not worth living. i believed it was true and so i kept feeling it. the world is a really ugly place sometimes. what i think, though, is that because some of us have felt so low before, we can be the ones to help others who might find themselves feeling this way too. because we’ve been there, we’ve felt it, we’ve fought it. we have the capacity to feel immense empathy for others. what helps me see outside of what i’m feeling is to focus on the people in my life who i love, which means i love them despite expecting the same kind of love in return. when i focus on them and what they need, then i am forced to step away from my pain and realize what i can give to others. i promise you that you really are someone special to many, many people. i promise you that if you took your life, the world would tremble in your absence! we are all interconnected. your absence would be heavily felt. remember that the way people treat you often has more to do with them than with you. we are all humxn beings just doing the best that we know how to. you want compassion, give compassion. you want empathy, have empathy. if you need help and have the energy and strength to get it or to ask for it, do it because there’s beauty in having the darkness/heaviness lifted or at least eased a little. and if you don’t feel you’re capable of getting help to see the sunshine in life, then be brave and find 1 person, 1 thing you believe you can truly live for. make a list of blessings. remind yourself of the ☀️. i am with you.