2 days ago
when the lord sd he would, 'redeem the time'
he was not playing. he also sd he is doing a 'quick work.'
i cannot even explain all of what i can see rt now, before me. but the vision is utterly insane and the visual (for emphasis) is even more intense.
god putting me on radar and calling me out under his, 'e pluribus unum' (out of many, one) charge, as i stated in an early piece written last week.
he sd, "expect the unexpected, i'm about to b**w your mind."
i feel my mental explosives on prep, about to firework the top of my head off. 🤯
he also reminded me, "whatever you do, don't say no. this one's for you."
he is prone to doing a new thing.
funny because he pointed out how 95% of my involvements throughout my life have been younger than me; anywhere from 1-7 yrs. recently a man approached me at cvs who was about 13 yrs younger than me. i was still navigating out of my last debauchery mentally, so i declined. but now that i'm out, i feel like the lord is leading me to this, "stay open" charge because he has a doozy up his sleeve.
i don't have a romantic draw in me at the moment, but i can feel my duality around me and at the nape of my neck, watchful and lurking, like any second he's going to pop up out of nowhere and shazam me. lol i can feel the energy, and it's powerful.
since the lord refuses to let me out of his, "i don't want you to be alone" clause, i'm doing my best not to retreat back to settled aloneness. i don't mind being alone. not. at. all. but, god minds and he created me, so, it's not my call.
whomever my forever is, though? he is massive in internal content, character, presence, expression, sincerity and genuineness. i mean. his internal presence has been revealed as completely solid, to an unbelievable degree. i thought i'd seen the statuesque, black adonis already, but the father sd that pales in comparison to what he has sent to make up for all of the pain i have ever felt.
i used to want an older man, thinking that would solve it, but i can't escape youth to save my life. lol guess my jaguar obsession is about to become my identity. lol god has a sense of humor. but i'm a late bloomer, so let's see how that translates for my future.