9 minutes ago
*tw - discussion of rape*
i was speaking with a friend last night and i shared something with her that i haven't shared out loud with many people. when i got a response that this person felt similar i decided that maybe it's something i should consider sharing more liberally. .
there are a lot of things that happen when you're sexually assulted - not only is the experience itself terrifying and painful but the victim has to live with a plethora of residual issues. things like nightmares, ptsd triggers, and psychological damage to actual medical ailments. .
one of the side effects can also be a huge sense of guilt or shame around sex. i have not been the best girlfriend because for me s*x is not a good thing. it makes me feel gross, and used, and shameful. i don't enjoy it. i can't initiate it, literally my body shuts down. i just feel disgusting. .
i never shared this (thomas obviously knows) because i thought i was just f****d up. broken. it's not something that makes me feel good about myself. when i realized that i am not the only person who feels this, i knew i had to share because when i tell my story i gain a little more power back.
#survivor #badass #warrior