2018 has been one of the hardest years of my life.
as i write these words my eyes fill with tears.
i’ve never felt this lost.
this out of control.
i don’t know where to go from here, or if i can even move.
i feel stuck.
i’m trying my best to stay strong for those that need me.
i’m trying to show up, to be there, to be present.
but i’m tired, i’m hurt, and i’m sick of always feeling tired and hurt.
i’ve poured so much of myself out into others, i don’t even feel like myself anymore.
what makes it worse is knowing that even after i’ve given as much as i can, it’s still not enough.
there’s just nothing i can do anymore.
i just want to feel normal again.
i’m dropping to my knees tonight.
life has truly become to hard to stand.
i can’t do anything, i’m in control of nothing, so i give it to you, god.
i’m letting go of it all.
my past. my current circumstances. my future.
fill me with patience, peace, and love... because i’ve run out.
renew me, restore me, and breathe life into these dry bones.
guide me. hold my hand and don’t let me walk alone.
i can’t do this on my own, and i feel foolish for trying.
i know you love me, unconditionally. you haven’t left my side, even though i’ve been so far from you. you’ve gotten me this far and i know that’s not an accident. i surrender it all. my life, take it and let it bring glory to you. my heart, take it and mold it, break it for what breaks yours.
remind me of why i’m here.
wearing @aloyoga #sponsored