2 days ago
Here me out 🙏🏻⚠️:
there was a time where i would’ve looked at this picture & been embarrassed of my thighs. i hate admitting that but it’s true.
coming from a history of anorexia & body dismorphia, muscled quads *on myself* like this would have looked “fat” to me. seeing images where i couldn’t stand my look i would fall into a starving pattern until i was satisfied with some kind of image of myself that appeased me & redeemed that “fat” time. “whew”, i’d say, “now we’re back on track.” until the next look in the mirror after a meal or the wrong angle of a camera crumbled my world. ...!?what?! what an empty life to live.
how have i battled this? by the loving guiding hand of my savior jesus christ🙌🏻.
at a young age i struggled with my appearance & these issues naturally took shape. they then changed shape but stayed with me as i was affected by overpowering voices around me feeding me lies about changes i needed to make to be good enough. (*insert my forever disgust here*).
what god did without me knowing it was softly introduce the sport of #crossfit
as a tool - a world in which performance is highlighted & encouraged in the community. appearance then, is a by product of the food & #discipline
it takes to perform & learn functional movements you need to sustain and enrich your life. (“wow. crazy cool, god. i just thought i was having fun. but you knew what you were doing all along.😍”).
even more importantly, god brought me people as living breathing examples in the cf world to share & show me healthy patterns. because of my adoration for them & shared #faith
this graduation to overall health (mental/self love/self worth/clear eyes/physical) was bound to happen.
listen 👂 , you who can relate even a smidgen. our god is a gentle god. he is working for you when you don’t know it. trust in him to find peace in your heart. don’t look for you in the mirror to find it. you’ll disappoint every time. look for god in the beauty around you. that same one made you beautiful too. he has got you, he loves you exactly as you are & he has a plan for saving you from your darkness. all you have to do is let him. #crossfitgirls #iam1stphorm