Important advice from erica joy ☝🏿☝🏼#showup
👉🏿👉🏼 read on for advice from @wholeheartedcoaching: an actionable item poc and white people can take right now is to check in on their black friends.
however, we have to be mindful that each time we reach out we could possibly be retraumatizing that person.
so here are some things to think of before you “check in”: ⠀
1. keep your message short and loving:
“i am sending you so much love right now. know that i am always here to talk.”
do not make this about your feelings:
“i’m so sad/angry/frustrated.” this is not about you. if they open up the conversation to share feelings then do so. but again, this is not about how you feel. ⠀
do not write fear based or sensational messages: “omg i can’t believe what i’m seeing. are you ok?!?” messages like this only heighten the ever present worry and fear that they’re experiencing. also, they make think you’re referring to a new event and will in turn check social media or the news (which maybe they’re trying not to do). ⠀
2. if you do not know this person or have not been in touch with them for a while, do not try and create a sense of intimacy that isn’t there. ⠀
this is not the time to dm every black person you follow on instagram or met in college. instead, maybe send them some money (venmo $5), a gift, or seamless them their favorite meal. think of a loving non-intrusive act that they do not need to reciprocate. and check in on the black people you are close with in real life. and if the only black people you know are people you follow on instagram, then you are part of the problem. ⠀
3. never expect a response back
this is key. again this is not about you. send them your love and thoughts and have no expectations that you will hear back from this person. they don’t owe you an answer.