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On the eve of my 45th birthday, a few things I’ve learned along the way:
1. Every day you’re alive is a gift. Don’t waste it dwelling on the past or worrying about what may never happen. 
2. Life is like a supermarket. You can be present and get your shopping done based on what you know you currently need or you can think about what you didn’t buy before or waste a lot of time thinking about what you might possibly lack later. Buy now.
3. Everybody f*ks up. Make amends when you do. Nobody is obligated to forgive you no matter how much you want them to. Apologize anyway.
4. Not all friendships, relationships, family connections are forever. Don’t force what is no longer there. Learn from your loss and carry that lesson with you. Without resentment.
5. Cherish the people and the places that you love and who love you back. This photo was taken right before dinner with some of my all time favorite folks while back in NYC where I was born, lived most of my life, and married my spouse on the first day so-called “gay marriage” became legal. I look happy because I am.
6. Everybody ages. You’re just not going to look the same forever. But man you will learn a lot and those wrinkles are proof and there’s some real power in that so don’t go fixing what ain’t broke.
7. Be kind to others. You WILL save more lives than you could ever know.
8. Be kind to you. Eat well, get fresh air, sleep, love, take care of your body and your mind, speak gently with yourself. 
9. No matter what others may have told you, you belong here. Don’t leave because others have told you you don’t. 
10. Things really do get better. Hurts you never thought would fade really do.
11. Cling to nothing - neither the good nor the bad. It all ends. Enjoy, learn, and keep going.
12. Have dessert. It’s not going to kill you.
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#ptsd #trauma #anxiety #depression #panic #worry #fear #mentalhealth #aging #suicideawareness #chronicillness #spoonie #invisibleillness #eds #pots #dysautonomia #cancer #thisis45 #selfcare #ageisjustanumber #antibullying #healing #birthday #encouragerssociety #nostigma #chronicloveclub #themightysite #mindfulness #bekind
44 119 September 2018
On the eve of my 45th birthday, a few things i’ve learned along the way:
1. every day you’re alive is a gift. don’t waste it dwelling on the past or worrying about what may never happen.
2. life is like a supermarket. you can be present and get your shopping done based on what you know you currently need or you can think about what you didn’t buy before or waste a lot of time thinking about what you might possibly lack later. buy now.
3. everybody f*ks up. make amends when you do. nobody is obligated to forgive you no matter how much you want them to. apologize anyway.
4. not all friendships, relationships, family connections are forever. don’t force what is no longer there. learn from your loss and carry that lesson with you. without resentment.
5. cherish the people and the places that you love and who love you back. this photo was taken right before dinner with some of my all time favorite folks while back in nyc where i was born, lived most of my life, and married my spouse on the first day so-called “gay marriage” became legal. i look happy because i am.
6. everybody ages. you’re just not going to look the same forever. but man you will learn a lot and those wrinkles are proof and there’s some real power in that so don’t go fixing what ain’t broke.
7. be kind to others. you will save more lives than you could ever know.
8. be kind to you. eat well, get fresh air, sleep, love, take care of your body and your mind, speak gently with yourself.
9. no matter what others may have told you, you belong here. don’t leave because others have told you you don’t.
10. things really do get better. hurts you never thought would fade really do.
11. cling to nothing - neither the good nor the bad. it all ends. enjoy, learn, and keep going.
12. have dessert. it’s not going to k**l you.
*
#ptsd #trauma #anxiety #depression #panic #worry #fear #mentalhealth #aging #suicideawareness #chronicillness #spoonie #invisibleillness #eds #pots #dysautonomia #cancer #thisis45 #selfcare #ageisjustanumber #antibullying #healing #birthday #encouragerssociety #nostigma #chronicloveclub #themightysite #mindfulness #bekind
(The following caption is taken from a Twitter thread I made this morning.) UPS just delivered the package containing my copy-edited & fact-checked manuscript. It also contains a timeline of my life as it relates to The Collected Schizophrenias—when I read through it I think, My God, how did I survive this? Which is a gift too, to me and to (hopefully) others—the reminder that it is possible to survive so many things. & how lucky I am to have done so. And all I want is to keep surviving. Which is also why I’m known for saying, “Keep going. You’re doing great.” Because TO KEEP GOING IS NO SMALL THING. To wake up, to be ill mentally and/or physically, to be alive is no small thing. #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #keepgoing #thecollectedschizophrenias #graywolfpress #encouragerssociety
36 388 April 2018
(the following caption is taken from a twitter thread i made this morning.) ups just delivered the package containing my copy-edited & fact-checked manuscript. it also contains a timeline of my life as it relates to the collected schizophrenias—when i read through it i think, my god, how did i survive this? which is a gift too, to me and to (hopefully) others—the reminder that it is possible to survive so many things. & how lucky i am to have done so. and all i want is to keep surviving. which is also why i’m known for saying, “keep going. you’re doing great.” because to keep going is no small thing. to wake up, to be ill mentally and/or physically, to be alive is no small thing. #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #keepgoing #thecollectedschizophrenias #graywolfpress #encouragerssociety
There’s a phenomenon that I coined a number of years ago: phase fog (I used to call it “phase blindness,” but I feel that term is ableist, & don’t use it anymore.) The basic concept behind phase fog is this: when you’re in one phase, you can’t imagine yourself in another. When you’re acutely sick, you can’t remember having never been sick. Depression can keep you from believing you’ve ever been happy. On the other hand, it’s difficult to remember how horrifying psychosis is when I’m on an even keel. And so forth.⠀
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I’ve been stuck in a loop lately: I’ve done nothing; I’ve been tangled in anxiety & panic forever; joy is hard to find. But that’s where records are helpful. My journal and planner are really helpful. So are photos like this one from last week, when I did the launch event with @ro.kwon for THE INCENDIARIES to a packed house. I was so happy that night; you can see it in the way I look at my friend. I look at this photo, and I try to remember.⠀
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#encouragerssociety #lymedisease #spoonies #grief #PTSD #trauma #feelersgonnafeel #encouragerssociety #liveauthentic #morningslikethese #livefolk #startwithwhy #creativepreneur #calledtobecreative #theartofslowliving #cultivatingenough #thatauthenticfeeling #nothingisordinary #daysofsmallthings
17 366 August 2018
There’s a phenomenon that i coined a number of years ago: phase fog (i used to call it “phase blindness,” but i feel that term is ableist, & don’t use it anymore.) the basic concept behind phase fog is this: when you’re in one phase, you can’t imagine yourself in another. when you’re acutely sick, you can’t remember having never been sick. depression can keep you from believing you’ve ever been happy. on the other hand, it’s difficult to remember how horrifying psychosis is when i’m on an even keel. and so forth.⠀

i’ve been stuck in a loop lately: i’ve done nothing; i’ve been tangled in anxiety & panic forever; joy is hard to find. but that’s where records are helpful. my journal and planner are really helpful. so are photos like this one from last week, when i did the launch event with @ro.kwon for the incendiaries to a packed house. i was so happy that night; you can see it in the way i look at my friend. i look at this photo, and i try to remember.⠀

#encouragerssociety #lymedisease #spoonies #grief #ptsd #trauma #feelersgonnafeel #encouragerssociety #liveauthentic #morningslikethese #livefolk #startwithwhy #creativepreneur #calledtobecreative #theartofslowliving #cultivatingenough #thatauthenticfeeling #nothingisordinary #daysofsmallthings
A look at my productivity journal—if you haven’t grabbed a free copy of my Productivity Journaling with Limitations e-book, head on over to esmewang.com/pjl! ✨✨ I’ve also been experimenting with a new kind of mood tracker (on the left). #encouragerssociety #pwljournal #bujoinspiration #hobonichicousin #hobonichi
3 223 July 2018
A look at my productivity journal—if you haven’t grabbed a free copy of my productivity journaling with limitations e-book, head on over to esmewang.com/pjl! ✨✨ i’ve also been experimenting with a new kind of mood tracker (on the left). #encouragerssociety #pwljournal #bujoinspiration #hobonichicousin #hobonichi
Five years ago, my colleagues at Granta gave me this t-shirt as a parting gift along with an itinerary outlining how my next years would unfold (I was a publicist and made lots of itineraries. They’re still kind of my specialty). I had one published translation, a short story by Lina Wolff, to my name. ✨ I’m working through the weekend, swamped with beautiful translation projects — Lina Wolff edits for @andotherpics, a special feature for a special magazine coming out in 2019, the latest Johannes Anyuru novel (that’s just what I’ve worked on today). I’ve overcommitted slightly, but as a freelancer I think that can be a good thing and it always gets crazy in fall. I put this shirt on today to remind me how far I’ve come. Five years ago, I lept into the dark, super scared and hoping for the best. Now there’s plenty of light and a rhythm. If you’re thinking about making a change, go for it. And in this bikini-weather October in Berlin, I’m trying to apply this attitude of change to matters of climate, too, doing what I can, trying to keep my chin up.
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#translatorlife #writersofinstagram #readersofinstagram #womenempowerment #writerlife #freelancelife #workingweekend #dayofsmallthings #creativepreneur #startwithwhy #encouragerssociety #cultuvatingenough #feelingmyself #selfpromotion #cheerleader #createcultivate #dontquityourdaydream #creativelife #creativelifehappylife #communityovercompetition #litteratur #communityofwriters #översättare #boktips #swedishbooks #bookstagram #boooks #bookworm #booksbooksbooks #recommendedreading
34 278 October 2018
Five years ago, my colleagues at granta gave me this t-shirt as a parting gift along with an itinerary outlining how my next years would unfold (i was a publicist and made lots of itineraries. they’re still kind of my specialty). i had one published translation, a short story by lina wolff, to my name. ✨ i’m working through the weekend, swamped with beautiful translation projects — lina wolff edits for @andotherpics, a special feature for a special magazine coming out in 2019, the latest johannes anyuru novel (that’s just what i’ve worked on today). i’ve overcommitted slightly, but as a freelancer i think that can be a good thing and it always gets crazy in fall. i put this shirt on today to remind me how far i’ve come. five years ago, i lept into the dark, super scared and hoping for the best. now there’s plenty of light and a rhythm. if you’re thinking about making a change, go for it. and in this bikini-weather october in berlin, i’m trying to apply this attitude of change to matters of climate, too, doing what i can, trying to keep my chin up.
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#translatorlife #writersofinstagram #readersofinstagram #womenempowerment #writerlife #freelancelife #workingweekend #dayofsmallthings #creativepreneur #startwithwhy #encouragerssociety #cultuvatingenough #feelingmyself #selfpromotion #cheerleader #createcultivate #dontquityourdaydream #creativelife #creativelifehappylife #communityovercompetition #litteratur #communityofwriters #översättare #boktips #swedishbooks #bookstagram #boooks #bookworm #booksbooksbooks #recommendedreading
If the day already feels like too much and if you’re struggling to stay afloat, take 15 seconds and have tea with me. Breathe in for 4 gentle counts and out for 8 gentle counts. Watch the steam dancing in the sunlight and be here now.
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P.S. Born and raised in NYC, a good cup of black coffee has always been my jam but lately anti-inflammatory, liver and stomach healing teas (nettle, dandelion, peppermint, ginger) have been calling me and, since I believe in intuitive eating, I’m paying attention. Nettle has a grassy flavor, almost like vegetable broth, and pairs well with savory foods. In addition to reducing inflammation in the gut, it’s helpful for allergies and achy joints. Roasted dandelion is dark and bitter and goes well with sweet foods and is a traditional tonic for liver cleansing. Peppermint and ginger are both stomach and liver remedies and I think best on their own or right after a meal. Teas and foods that settle the stomach are also helpful for calming anxiety (bonus). Here’s to a peaceful day in a caffeinated world.
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#ptsd #trauma #anxiety #depression #panic #mentalhealth #chronicillness #invisibleillness #antiinflammatory #guthealth #calm #pots #dysautonomia #ehlersdanlossyndrome #cancer #healing #mindfulness #selfcare #encouragerssociety #bekind
6 57 November 2018
If the day already feels like too much and if you’re struggling to stay afloat, take 15 seconds and have tea with me. breathe in for 4 gentle counts and out for 8 gentle counts. watch the steam dancing in the sunlight and be here now.
*
p.s. born and raised in nyc, a good cup of black coffee has always been my jam but lately anti-inflammatory, liver and stomach healing teas (nettle, dandelion, peppermint, ginger) have been calling me and, since i believe in intuitive eating, i’m paying attention. nettle has a grassy flavor, almost like vegetable broth, and pairs well with savory foods. in addition to reducing inflammation in the gut, it’s helpful for allergies and achy joints. roasted dandelion is dark and bitter and goes well with sweet foods and is a traditional tonic for liver cleansing. peppermint and ginger are both stomach and liver remedies and i think best on their own or right after a meal. teas and foods that settle the stomach are also helpful for calming anxiety (bonus). here’s to a peaceful day in a caffeinated world.
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#ptsd #trauma #anxiety #depression #panic #mentalhealth #chronicillness #invisibleillness #antiinflammatory #guthealth #calm #pots #dysautonomia #ehlersdanlossyndrome #cancer #healing #mindfulness #selfcare #encouragerssociety #bekind
From today’s sketchbook/journal: “We’re midway through 2018 and I am full of vague ideas about how the rest of the year will go. I need to figure out what the big anchor projects and events will be as these next few months swim by. & I am full of hope, anxiety, wishes, love.” #encouragerssociety #rawnessofremembering
7 162 June 2018
From today’s sketchbook/journal: “we’re midway through 2018 and i am full of vague ideas about how the rest of the year will go. i need to figure out what the big anchor projects and events will be as these next few months swim by. & i am full of hope, anxiety, wishes, love.” #encouragerssociety #rawnessofremembering
(From @morganharpernichols) I’ve mentioned phase fog on here before, and have been experiencing a different aspect of it recently that caught me by surprise. For those of you who haven’t heard me use this phrase before, it refers to being caught in the “fog” of being in a particular state, such as depression or physical pain, so that you can’t remember what it’s like to have ever been in another phase.⠀
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I realized fairly recently that I’ve been in the phase fog of anhedonia for a while now; it’s been harder for me to feel pleasure or happiness, and the little & lovely things that normally bring me joy and happiness just... don’t. Having noticed this, I wrote an email to my psychiatrist and sent it off. We’ll see what she says.⠀
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I mention this because sometimes it can be helpful to share things that other people experience, but might not have words for. And so here I am, with this experience of mine. Keep going, y’all. You’re doing great. #encouragerssociety
11 289 August 2018
(from @morganharpernichols ) i’ve mentioned phase fog on here before, and have been experiencing a different aspect of it recently that caught me by surprise. for those of you who haven’t heard me use this phrase before, it refers to being caught in the “fog” of being in a particular state, such as depression or physical pain, so that you can’t remember what it’s like to have ever been in another phase.⠀

i realized fairly recently that i’ve been in the phase fog of anhedonia for a while now; it’s been harder for me to feel pleasure or happiness, and the little & lovely things that normally bring me joy and happiness just... don’t. having noticed this, i wrote an email to my psychiatrist and sent it off. we’ll see what she says.⠀

i mention this because sometimes it can be helpful to share things that other people experience, but might not have words for. and so here i am, with this experience of mine. keep going, y’all. you’re doing great. #encouragerssociety