3 hours ago
my focus for the next year of my life consists of a confused mess of goals/desires and slowly sharpening focus on priorities. they are summed up as follows;
my mind has been all over the place lately. carpeted in thoughts i wish i could let go of and craving distractions so i don’t need to face them.
my time too, has been spent all over the place; spreading thin across music, shoots, work, social life. all amazing and motivating and inspiring.. but very little spent checking in on me.
i’ve started noticing some of the ways my brain has been running from itself; shutting out internal voices with constant music, mindlessly checking social media or fixating my energy on a person and their problems, even if they have no care for mine.
a lot of things right now in my life aren’t where i want them to be. a lot of thoughts & expectations in my mind are in need of moving on from. a lot of people who i spend too much time thinking of or investing in need to be finally let go of.
but above all, my mental health is what i want to focus on. i’ve been avoiding facing it for so long, almost postponing opening the can of worms till i felt i had the time and energy. but with everything only getting busier, it’s time i recognise this as the priority it is and the life long investment it will surely become. i’m so fortunate to not be struggling with half of what friends and family around me have had to endure mental health wise, but i don’t want to let it get to that point where it seems an insurmountable issue, although nothing truly is.
although setting time based goals around mental health and lifestyle may seem futile, it’s a start... a motivator at the least. so here i’ll say; by the time i turn 23 i want to look back on the last year of my life and say whole heartedly i prioritised and valued myself and my happiness. i faced what needed to be faced, took the time, energy and emotion into healing and strengthening myself and the caring people around me & made a change in my life that would last a positive life time.
anyone else with me?