Can't even find the right words to describe how i'm feeling.
it's like wanting to be in his arms, but knowing he doesn't want me in his. it's like knowing i cant do a d**n thing to make him happy, but maybe he's happier without me around. it's like thinking to myself "my god you have lost your mind. you haven't even spoken to this boy for a month, yet the thought of him hating you makes you want to cry?" but in reality i was just hiding how i felt cause he seemed so happy already with another. i know i'm annoying. f**k i can tell. even as i write this, i'm rolling my eyes cause i know how whiny and f*****g childish i sound. but god d****t he makes me heart race and it feels like i'm on cloud nine whenever he texts back. if he does read all of this, he'll probably think "god this girl is f*****g crazy". but i know i'm not crazy. i just put every single bit of effort and life i have into one person. 😴🙏