2 weeks ago
Twice in 2 days people commented on my appearance and weight at gigs. one woman actually said to my face right after the show "really love your band but i have to say you are far too skinny, you were so thin on stage i just wanted to give you a burger". 😤why people feel the need to say "lauren you've lost weight since last time i saw you" or "let me make you some food" i have no idea, it infuriates me leading me to obsess and just endlessly hurt inside.
my relationship with my body is similar to most girls, a constant battle to accept and learn to love each curve or 'not so curve' in my case. i was teased and called anorexic at school, i stuffed my bras with socks in pe and any comment would k**l me. for a long time i just hid behind baggy clothes and felt uncomfortable with people looking at me... especially naked-
god! not even i would look at myself naked!
since last week i've been second guessing myself in the mirror, feeling the need to wear baggier clothes, looking at myself for far too long wondering.. do i really look ill? i haven't felt this since secondary school and it's a horrible feeling that i thought would never drain my confidence again. it hurts so much to hear people think you look 'too skinny' or 'too something' because all that translates to in my mind is - i look bad, i need to change myself.
this week has been fillled with lots of ups but also lots of personal low feelings of deflation from other people telling me i have to change myself in order to be successful.
i will never hide my body! i do not dress up for anybody but myself! my body is not hear to please anyone else and ffs... i can be a feminist and still wear hot pants! 👸🏼🔪#preach
to anyone that isn't clear. commenting on people's image no matter what can really damage people's self esteem. like right now i feel at the bottom of the world all alone and i feel anxious and it's all so stupid!! humans can really s**k sometimes and this is one of those times where they get the better of me. 🌧 over and out - #laurentate #bodypositive #body #mybodymychoice #mybodymyrules #feminism #isfuckingimportant #checked #topshop #mentalhealth #skinny #thin
#f*t #sad #peoplesuck