I've been doing this new thing lately where i've been reading books with a highlighter in hand. it's hardly a revelation... people have been doing it for a long time. yet it is new to me. i have a tendency to read too fast... to skip ahead. to become so immersed in the forward movement of the book that i miss the symbolism and significance of what is happening in the present. in literature classes i would always finish reading the book ahead of the class, yet when it came time for class discussions i was completely lost on whatever symbolism was being discussed. i realize that in my rush to the end, i missed all of the beginning and the middle. i realize that that tendency carries through in my life as well... i have thought of myself as a goal oriented at times, which sounds good theoretically, and yet i think i would have to revise that description of myself. instead, there have been times in which i am so focused on the end result that i become irritated by the time-consuming process it takes to get there. reading books with a highlighter in my hand has served as a reminder to pay attention to all of the words. i am finding new meaning in books that i have read before many times. i am realizing how much i have missed by rushing too fast. for the first time in my life i am learning to slow down. i am learning to enjoy the process. i am learning, little by little, how to let go of control. i am learning how to walk through life with a highlighter in hand. i am learning how much is to be gained by being present.