I worry about life later down the line.
teen angst dressed to impress the man in the mirror.
running away from problems, for fitness reasons.
and i've gotten fairly good at it.
i see alot of suffering around me so i try to put on a smile.
but now i'm finally at a good place, and surprisingly my anxiety is louder than ever.
beating as loud as thunder.
it's the clarity in the eye of the storm where it strikes me.
that epiphany that happiness is no longer an unfamiliar stranger, or a state of mind.
think about it.
we all talk to ourselves constantly.
and for whatever reason seeing other people happy when you are not creates this uncomfortable animosity.
so we bar ourselves to a few conjugal visits.
preferring to survive in our own prisons than to take a chance out there.
saying that you wont get the life you want,
stuck in a cycle of complaining, arguing, blaming, wishing
and we want someone to solve this problem but its not their place.
no one can truly take away your problems, your stress, your chance to grow because it's under these harsh conditions that people become themselves.
i can relate.
i've seen firsthand how addiction and depression can keep you locked within yourself.
my role as your friend, your son, your brother, your romantic interest is to deal with my urge to help, because i want to do so much for you. i want to take care of you, show you the world in different mosaics, keep you healthy, and as much as i want that, it wont mean anything unless the intention comes from you.
happiness is accepting that feelings, suffering, and all the uncomfortable things we endure is what allows us to experience that elated state.
it's okay to cry and be happy about it.
i used worry about how i'll end up
teen angst asking their mid life crisis out on a date.
so if you are looking at me being all sad and stuff, im exercising my self control, for fitness reasons.
and i'm getting better at it.
i stopped this masquerade of forced smiles and awkward laughs to share with you my tropical depression.
you may not see any clouds near me but i promise you that its still raining here
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