17 minutes ago
it’s been a month since your body failed you. your absence is tangible. i still leave the gate open and call your name to come . i miss spooning you every night, waking up with fur in my mouth and seeing your sweet sleepy face. i have far too much space sitting in my work chair, you used to sit behind me everyday. no pug barges into the bathroom to lick my legs anymore. a few nights ago i thought about what i’d say in my next ig post after my absence and all i could do is cry. my little spirit animal, bohdi, is gone and i just miss him so. i have a tendency to stick my head in the ground like an ostrich when i’m in pain, but i can’t ignore life any longer . i would be doing you a disservice . you died on oct 12, my mom on oct 14, and my dad on oct 16 (all different years.) i dreaded october already, but this year was different . on my way home on oct 12, a cute older couple driving a convertible pulled up next to me. the lady was in the passenger seat and wore a scarf tied around her head. i gave the couple a huge smile as i remembered being on that same bridge with my mom in my convertible, 20 years ago. she also wore a scarf tied around her head, as we enjoyed a beautiful florida day. as i smiled enjoying the memory, i told my mom i missed her . then image changed to my mom sitting in her backyard on her favorite lounge chair, with my 2 pekingese. then my dad joined her as well as all my angel fur babies. haley and emma the pekingese, foo and bohdi pugs, bella, chip and kitty cats. as my mom surveyed all the animals , she looked up at me and said, “ i’ll need a bigger lap!” i just laughed and laughed as i gained comfort in the thought that my parents are tending to all my fur babies , until we are all reunited again. through the sadness , i was able to feel such gratitude as i kept the image of my parents with all of you, close . bo, you and the grumble, make a better person. i've learned so much from each one of you. being your mom is a privilege, that i don’t take lightly , be it hear on earth, or up in heaven. thank you for helping me create that sweet memory that has helped me so during this difficult time .
i love you sweet boy. - mom