9 hours ago
The first time tavish came home he saw the jasmines in my garden and told me that his mother loved jasmines. so i plucked a few and sent it with him for his mother. i think i still remember the way he looked at those jasmines, longing mixed with unbearable sadness.
tavish was a man of few words. he would go hours without speaking, mostly lost in the pages of a book or in the garden. the day we moved in together i remember waking up in the middle of the night to see him in our garden sitting in between the jasmines.
i sometimes wonder if tavish saw me or even listened to me. some days i had often wondered if he loved me. but then he would kiss me on my forehead while whispering that he loves me and all would be forgotten.
one day while cleaning the cupboard a letter fell from his wallet. it was creased and torn at the edges. it looked like it was read often. i opened the letter out of curiosity. it was for tavish. it read.
i planted more jasmines after you left. when you come next time, it will have bloomed. i know that you are angry. i know that you love me but i love you far more to ever let you see me withering away. this disease will take me, but i don't want to go, knowing you will be devastated. i want your last memory of me to be my laughing self, full of life. i'm sorry for all this pain.
whenever you see jasmines remember me. close your eyes and i'll be there with, you'll feel me. love me tavi, love me till your last breath. i know it's selfish. but please don't stop loving me.
i wonder if tavish felt that he loves me cause i reminded him of her. i wonder why he lied that it was his mother who loved jasmines.
i asked tavish whether he loves me or he feels that he does. his silence was my only answer. maybe all i ever was a poor substitute for her.
when i told him i was leaving, he was sitting in between the jasmine flowers, silent and lost in thought. he did not try and stop me. so i walked away, leaving him my heart that was in pieces. maybe he will bury them next to his jasmines. one day it might bloom and maybe remind him of me, not her.
✍️ - @paro.__