19 hours ago
Video 3 is my happy medium. no dieting, just training. no cardio😂😂. picture 1 is almost the smallest i’ve ever been in my life. (i got even smaller than this 🙈😶) picture 2 is the biggest i’ve ever been in my life.
both pictures have something in common, i was deeply unhappy. unfortunately, i’ve always either massively under eaten and over exercised or over eaten and not wanted to do anything when i’ve gone through emotional stress.
i remember looking at myself in picture 1 and telling myself i was fat. i wore a size 6 at this point. i didn’t have a period for almost two years. i had awful skin & awful hair... i had gone way passed my initial “goal weight” and still i was unhappy 🤷🏼♀️. picture 2 was taken last december. after 7 months of barely training and overeating the wrong foods. in june of last year my life flicked a switch. my friend killed himself (which came as a massive shock to me because he was always so happy and helped coach me when i wanted to compete) and less than a week later quite literally all i was seeing around me was death and nothing was the same anymore.
i don’t know how i got over it exactly, i just woke up one day and saw everything in a different light. i genuinely am so grateful for every single beautiful thing in my life, regardless of how big or small it is. i can honestly say that going through that changed my life. it made me strong so i am grateful for that, if nothing else. i quit my job and took so many risks because of it and i became strong enough to deal with any problem😂 all problems now feel so minor and not even worth my energy now so it’s taught me to let things go.
this is why i now always try to be positive & take as many risks as i can (even if my behaviour is reckless 🙈😂). why am i posting this? because i am sure there are some people on here struggling right now & i just want you to know it can get better if you allow it to.
we only have one life so live it to the fullest. ❤️❤️❤️