Scenic pictorial of what my life has felt like over the last year + a f*t caption to match.
these first 2 photos are a vivid memory of a hard time coming to (what i thought) a close. i was changing, growing, making better life decisions, & being forced to get comfortable with my own self. the parallel between these new, bare, soon to be homes was real. i was broken down to be rebuilt. the 3rd photo feels like me now. no longer a bare frame, but built with bare walls & i’m definitely not even close to done. i’m also sure i’ll go through this process countless times.
i couldn’t sleep that particular july night - i felt so alone & defeated. i watched the sun sneak in & decided i should just drive down pch & enjoy it beachside. i also had a shot at full time & i thought my grueling job hunt was over. i thought a job would fix everything. funny how i didn’t get it. this isn’t just about jobs. i’m grateful for the opportunities that have come through that time. 100% wouldn’t have been changing my life, seeking the lord, & pressing through hard times.
today, at church, we sang great is thy faithfulness & closed w/a spontaneous chorus of “you can’t always get what you want”. the message was about widening our margins for the lord & being ready for emergencies & our pace taking up space - all concepts i am slowing working towards. my mind is flooded w/some really heavy thing lately & w/so much on my mind tonight, while merging onto the 73 & i got in a minor (best case scenario) accident. i spent the first few hours after beating myself up about it - figuring out ways it could have been prevented & thinking how it was so minor that it shouldn’t have even happened. my sweet bb honda that i have worked hard to have has some battle wounds now & it breaks my heart 😭 i’m a wild oc driver, i know. however, through that, i’m trying to be thankful that no one was hurt, airbags weren’t deployed, i wasn’t on my phone, no alc, + the other lady was (eventually) nice about it.
it’s a weird process transitioning from student to adult, intern to full time, & party girl to responsible (stressed out) adult. but here’s to growth, life, margins, & grace!! ❣️