8 hours ago
Today i'm 35. i’ve waited all week for a vanilla bean glazed district doughnut, because when you’re 35 you can’t eat vanilla bean glazed doughnuts whenever the hell you want, like you did when you were 22.
confession: i really like my 30s. when you’re in your 30s, you’re mostly comfortable in your own skin. you feel young and experienced at the same time. you’ve lived enough reality and you start to understand a little bit what “life experience” means. you know what style clothes you like. and being 35 has some weight to it (…literally and figuratively).
i’ve been thinking about being in my 30s and feeling grateful for two kinds of moments it carries with it.
the first is an agency moment. when you’re really young, you have all these ideas and passions and loves. but then you reach what david brooks calls an “agency moment.” that’s when you’ve lived enough reality to have tested your own passions. some of the things you loved don't fit any more. or they fade away. and new passions rise to the surface. suddenly, you discover the passions that are most important to you. the ones you really want to commit to. the beauty of the agency moment is that you start to judge yourself against those priorities and who you want to be, instead of some prefabricated definition of success.
and the second is a crucible moment. this is when your frameworks and your beliefs are tested. and you question, down to your core, who you are and what you believe. the beauty of the crucible moment is that the weak parts burn away and you're left holding the beliefs that are strongest. the beliefs you’re truly willing to anchor your life on.
i'm 35 today. i've had a few agency moments and at least two crucible moments. i know i will again. and i’m so so thankful for them. it’s all part of the journey. .
📷 : @ericabakerphoto
aka my photographer for life