3 weeks ago
The news still won’t sink in. i feel suspended in fog.
the truth is, words cannot adequately express the depth of my grief.
i miss her.
no one will ever match her.
no one will even come close...
“are we complete?” her words still echo in my heart.
no, we are not complete.
she is no longer here...
she changed the course of my life.
she showed me that there was another way of being.
she gave me much more than i could ever give her.
she is truly the most beautiful person i have ever met.
her presence, strength, and wisdom were a gift.
her penetrating gaze saw through every layer and wall i had put up over time.
i am grateful for her kindness and patience when i felt so lost.
she taught me that words matter. that the words we use have to be chosen with intention.
she taught me the value of completion. of closure. of respect. of direct communication.
she taught me the value of being in the present moment. of honoring the act of just being.
she taught me the value of a painful lesson being our greatest teacher. that sitting with the pain is the way through.
she taught me the value of seeing, and accepting, someone for who they are.
she taught me the value of taking the time to heal.
she saw me. she believed in me.
she gave me the space to learn. to grow. to feel joy.
i don't want to live in a world without her in it. selfish, i know. but it's the truth.
i can't imagine not hearing her voice again. not hearing her laugh.
i know i should rise above the despair and say something lofty about love and light, but i can't. not yet.
my heart is aching. i feel hollow.
dorothy, i love you so much. someday i know that i'll stop crying, but for now, i'm going to let myself cry and sit with the sadness. 23 years was not enough time with you. you are an angel and a gift. the world is a better place because of you...
may i carry on your legacy of love and make you proud.
may i feel your spirit every time i dance to “you gotta be” by des’ree.
may i be able to someday say, “i am complete” and just be. xo