a few years ago, my life was physically in the hands of a dangerous person. i cannot begin to tell you, how many times i could have died. i was emotionally torn apart, humiliated and not only feared for my life, but my family's lives. my career was also jeopardized. how did i survive? i reached out for help. i was physically assaulted and emotionally abused numerous times. my family’s image in my mind gave me enough strength to ask for help. to others, he was a "great guy.” abusers know how to surround themselves with sound minded people to help themselves create an image of the complete opposite they show you behind closed doors, leaving you with an impression that you're the "crazy one" by manipulating your mind and heart. my abuser was a monster. i escaped and i am grateful to my core for friends who didn’t judge me. although they didn't know what really was going on, they helped me feel comfortable enough to ask for help. there is a fear because you are alone and even a deeper fear that if you reach out, no one will care. the reality is abusers know how to manipulate their victims. you become so isolated from the people you care about and love that the only person you hear "i love you" from is your abuser, which creates a false sense of love. i was afraid to speak out because people are so quick to judge, to blame the victim, and so quick to call you dumb/stupid for "staying.” what happens begins silently, and before you know it, you've found yourself in a place too risky to leave with no safe place to go.
with the help of my local police department, government services, and my incredible friends, i survived. i encourage anyone who is in an abusive relationship to tell someone, speak out and seek the help you deserve.
please, please tell someone. you are not alone.
with love and encouragement,